The How Not the What – Principle 12


“Research shows that working relationally improves our outcomes and happiness. It feels good for everyone involved – it is scientifically proven that feeling like we matter has a positive impact on our health, productivity and life span. Building trusting relationships means we are better able to understand and get to the heart of the issue and therefore more likely deal with what really matters.”



“The man drew a line in the dirt, looked at the children, and said, ‘When I tell you to start, run to the tree and whoever gets there first will win the basket of the fruit.’ When he told them to run, they all took each other’s hands and ran together to the tree. Then they sat together around the basket and enjoyed their treat as a group. The anthropologist was shocked. He asked why they would all go together when one of them could have won all the fruits for themselves? A young girl looked up at him and said, ‘How can one of us be happy if all the other ones are sad?’ “

How to Be Happy: A Lesson on Happiness From an African Tribe (jamesclear.com)


“When searching for someone to help them reflect upon and improve their lives, people tend to be drawn towards those who are compassionate, committed and wise.”

Smith and Smith 2008


Ubuntu speaks particularly about the fact that you can’t exist as a human being in isolation. It speaks about our interconnectedness. You can’t be human all by yourself … We think of ourselves far too frequently as just individuals, separated from one another, whereas you are connected and what you do affects the whole World.” 

Archbishop Desmond Tutu


“Say hello and smile – It sounds simple but being noticed when we arrive somewhere is crucial. It is easy to assume a person knows who they are looking for or where they are going; Even if they do still say hello. A friendly welcome sets the tone and can make a world of difference.”

Tips and Challenges — HOW NOT WHAT


“The foundation of genuine helping lies in being ordinary. Nothing special. We can only offer ourselves, neither more nor less, to others – we have in fact nothing else to give. Anything more is conceit; anything less is robbing those in distress. Helping demands wholeheartedness, but people find it hard to give of themselves to others. Why? In essence we are afraid to offer ourselves for fear we will prove insufficient, and if all that we have and are is not enough, what then? We are afraid to risk using simply our own warmth and caring …”

David Brandon

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